Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
God I need to hump something, right now.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
