Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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