Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
