Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
