i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize