So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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