Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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