we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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