hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
