i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize