I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
