just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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