The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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