There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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