i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
