I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
