I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
