and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
