all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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