i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
When are your genitals available?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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