Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The air was thick with penises
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
