Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
