Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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