I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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