I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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