He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
