I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
