Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
