What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
where am i from again
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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