yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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