I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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