I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Who died my cat blue again?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize