Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
