i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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