I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
