I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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