whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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