Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
