I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize
