wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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