brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
my poor anus
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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