you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize