I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
