Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
