the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
