i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
