Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
