Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
