i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize