I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
