Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
