I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize