Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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