the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
my liver is dry heaving
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
