its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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