I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
