Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
