I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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