i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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