Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize