We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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