It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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