girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
