farters have to be the big spoon...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
