she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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