Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
